How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

Suck pussy

What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

Who wins the battle of climbing a fence, the Mexican Man or the Black Man? The Mexican Man, the Black Man is still hanging from the tree.

What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

What do you call two black men sitting on the porch? Craig and Smokey

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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