What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

Poker? I barely even know her.

-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

Roses are blue Colton is gay

Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

What is pink and gets wet a tounge

Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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