Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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How High is a Chinese man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops