knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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Women's Rights

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops