Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Religion.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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