Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Double-whammy

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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