How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

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Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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Q: What's very loud, has 60 wheels, and is covered in snow? A: A massive car pile up in January that was caused by a women being distracted while Texting. 7 people were killed.

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Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

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What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

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i had a black friend once......just kidding

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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YO FACE

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So these two girls have a cup .

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops