How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

Is your refrigerator running? No.

The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

Your mom.

An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

What did the coney say to the hotdog? At least i kill people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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