What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock Whos there? A rapist. Go away I'm calling the police!! (The rapist then proceeds to break open the door, beat the woman repeatedly with a baseball bat, and then rapes her)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops