What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

thumb_up thumb_down +5

aodhan hearty

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

420

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops