Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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what is the diffrence between a chinesse man and a japanesse man, one is ruled by a cruel communist leader.

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your momma is so fat she has diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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