Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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what do you call a professional gamer Their name

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

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I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

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A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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whats the best joke ever? womens rights

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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