Stephen Hawking

What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

Tim: Hey Jennifer, do you wanna hear a joke? Jennifer: Okay Tim: Knock knock Jennifer: Who's there Tim: It's me Tim, you idiot

How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...