what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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I don't believe in giraffes.

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How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

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Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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A midget walked under a bar.

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why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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