How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

What's worse then 10 babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

Roses are black Violets are black A black person died

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

Turkeys are obese

Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

okay so theres this guy.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

Niggas be like you ugly and you playing hard to get, yo ass already hard to want!

This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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