You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

Why was the man crying? He has aids.

What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

What's big and long? My dick.

Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

Jamie Oliver eats a chip

Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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