why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

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What starts with F and ends with uck? Fire truck

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The FCC

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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12 niqqa 12.

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What do fat people and shinease people have in common? They both have a lot of chins.

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

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Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

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Chuck Norris got hit by a train. It was a very bloody and sad incident and he will be missed.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage?

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

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You wanna see something really scary?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

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Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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There is something fishy about.... the fish curry at home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops