After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

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Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

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BIG PENIS

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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snowglobe

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When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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