What did the gay kid in high school say? I'm straight.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

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what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops