A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call an asian that is black? Please tell me, I was asking a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Robin, get in the car!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Caller: Is your fridge running! Callee: ... umm yes? Caller: I guess you don't need my services. Thanks Callee: ok bye

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the zebra cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops