What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

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What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

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knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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What moos like a cow? Another cow

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Whats worse than one jew. Ben rike

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

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What the librarian say to the man? Hi, can I help you?

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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A bar walks into a man

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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What happens if George Washington is still alive? World population increases by 1

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Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

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I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops