knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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What's more painful than having your girlfriend cheat on you and leave you? Having your **** bitten off slowly.

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how do you save a black man ... u don't

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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a boy named justin littleton made his own anti-joke......

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Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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Where are you going Your house

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How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 8 9. I'm just counting

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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One man was interested in purchasing poultry. He found it was as very wise investment in that he enjoyed the resulting pleasure immensely.

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What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

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At his sentencing, a judge tells a convicted murderer that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will survive the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, because if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday night, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he goes to his cell confident that he has been spared from the hanging. The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday and prisoner is completely surprised!

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haha look at that guys shirt! what's wrong with it? i don't know.. nothing i guess

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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