Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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What's the difference between Wayne Gretzky and Courtney Love? They have different proffesions

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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This is sparta No this is patrick

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops