How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is green an invisible? this cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A twelve year old play Minecraft. He never made any friends. What did you expect?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

thumb_up thumb_down +1

People Eating Tasty Animals

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Eh yo Sean u mr. Kingston Hey, how are you doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than being a midget Being a midget with no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between a black man dead in the middle of the road... and a deer dead in the middle of the road? One is a human and one is an animal

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WWII veteran screamed! "You d@mn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops