My name is Jeff

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

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The tooth fairy, Santa and, Justin Beiber are the same, little kids believe in them, whats wrong with America these days

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Dogs

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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Saggy Nipples By chan chan

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-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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Lol, thats funny, sorry for asking, but is your eye doing better? Was their IQ test the same one you get when you enter their site?

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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