I have Alzheimer's, i pee out gold, racoons

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If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

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What do astronauts do if the want a party? They planet

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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A black man goes down to Alabama in the 1960s; He gets lynched.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

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A boy askes santa for a baby brother. Santa says give me your mom.

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Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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my mind's eye?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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Hey, did you guys hear what happened the Steve Jobs? He died.

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fjasdklfjklasdjfasdfk .... sorry i have terets!

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Why do so many Koreans go to medical school? Practicing medicine is a rewarding and respected career.

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Suck pussy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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