Why was the girl stupid? Because she had a low IQ

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote, puzzles still don't.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

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Why didn't the black guy get paid for doing work hard at labor? it was the year of 1860!!

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why do fat people eat so much? who cares

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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;( ;( ANTIJOKE Write Your Own --------------------------------------------------------- It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Enter the following: I AM NOT A HUMAN Your Answer SOLVE media I AM NOT A HUMAN I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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If a small quiz is a quizicle then what is a small test? A quiz.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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