So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

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Sam Hengal.

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops