Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

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2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

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A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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wanna hear a better joke? casey.

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why was the boy crying over his dog, his cat, and his bird? Cuz i raped them Wat about his pet hamster? I threw it at a wall

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

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what rhymes with ham and bread? girl, make me a sandwich

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I once did something.

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Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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You know whats funny Aids

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Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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