What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Q) What do you call a black president? A) Mr. President

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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Whats worse then 10 black men hanging from trees? Kittens

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One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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Why did little tomas cry? Because he got raped by his uncle

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whats black and has 3 legs? a spider with 5 missing legs.duh.

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Sickman Fraud, cocaine snorting alshole... "Oh yeah mommy I love raping you so much... What where are you? This cocaine is really bad quality man! The effect was so short..." Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: "Because since when do you really need cocaine... ...In order to rape your mother?"

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What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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A man wins 1 million dollars on the pokies. He goes home and tells his wife and kids about the big win. The next day the man goes go the casino and and loses the 1 million as he is addicted to gambling

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what do mexicans and grass have in common You find them both in your front yard

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Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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I knocked on my neighbors door to complain about the horrible smell before remembering I killed him the week before, he has no family and no one will ever know.

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What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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