What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

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Doctor doctor, I feel like listening to good music. Looks like you need "The Cure" to help with this.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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Suck pussy

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

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Hey can you turn Tmartn upI can't hear him

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Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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What do astronauts do if the want a party? They planet

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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