What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

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Who did you see last night? Nobody, no one wants to see you.

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Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

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A rabbi and priest both go into a bar... and they each had a responsible number of drinks before walking home.

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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A Pakistani news reader.

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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What's greasier than a baby? A burger

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What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

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What do you call a black man walking on the side of a road? A Pedestrian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops