Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

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Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

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Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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What do you call a Black Man in the ocean? A scuba diver

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

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Row, row, row your... Canoe.

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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