A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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a sabertooth walks into a club. the caveman set his trap perfectly.

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Y u do dis?

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What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

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If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

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Derp

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have you ever had african food? neither have they

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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what's 6 inches long and women love? my penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops