What was the mentally challenged kids first word? He was retarded so it wasn't a word.

Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

Your Mom!!!

"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

A black guy walks out of a house with a t.v. He proceeds to put it into a moving van and moves into his new house.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

Women's Rights..

I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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