What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

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What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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A little boy came runing to his mum' mummy...can a little girl have ababy? Mom reply no...so, the boy ran out and told his frnd 'we can play naked again'.,

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Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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whats worse than failing your maths test? getting aids

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whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

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I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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