Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

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What's red and sticky A DEAD BABY

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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What did Batman say to Superman? Nothing, he killed him with a kryptonite spear.

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

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Have you ever ate a donut? Yes I have. In fact, the donut I ate recently was fairly delicious.

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

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So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

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>posts joke >mistaken for anti-joke

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In soviet russia, roses are violet

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What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

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A chicken walks into a barn.

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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What is worse than the Holocaust? Women's sports

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The jets are a good team..

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops