Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

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Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

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What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

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Okay, after this one then...

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Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

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Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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racism...deal with it!

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

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What did the elephant say to the clown? Swell, morning isn't it?

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Whats has no comedic value? A brick

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Why does life suck? Because it does

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I once had a friendly cohort, whose limericks often ran short, but this one doesn't, I don't know why, Also, he often can't rhyme.

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whats worse then being lit on fire? dont worry about that right now your ass is on fire!

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Q :Why cant mexicans be firemen A :because they get mixed up by Hosea and Hose B

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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9

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what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

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wanna no wats not funny........ aids

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25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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