Q: What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family of four.

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What did Batman and Robin say when they were going to the Batmobile? To the Batmobile

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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suck my balls mr.garison

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why was the man sad? he found out his wife was man .

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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why did the chicken cross the road? regardless of the fact his job at kfc was there, he felt that exercise was need to work off is thighs

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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You have friends

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Why did America nuke Japan? Because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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What do you get if you pour water over a firework? A wet firework

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Needless to say he received a bath that night.

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What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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