How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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This one time at band camp....

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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why was the man walking in the kitchen? idk thats why i asked

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What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

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The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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