how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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a black guy walks into a park with a group of five other black guys. they then proceed to have a nice picnik and play frisbee with a little white boy.

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What's the difference Justin Bieber and a Dic* the Dic*

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whats worse than god meaner than the devil. the poor have it the rich need it nothing

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What does a man and an orange have in common? Nothing.

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

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i love to lick...

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

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what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

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Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's Roses are Red

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

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what happened to the cripple after he got in a wheel chair? cancer of the eye

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Penis!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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