Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

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What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

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What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

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A horse walks into a barn.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? The same number it would take people with any other hair color.

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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Hey guys! Today is September 10th you know what tomorrow means? Party at my house! ...What? It's my birthday.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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A blonde, red head and brunette decide the jump off a cliff....... They all die

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops