what do u call a apple a apple

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

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PSN IS UP

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Why did the boy drowned Bc he couldn't swim

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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