A man walks into a bar.....OW!

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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What is the last digit of Pi? Pi is an infinite decimal sequence, and therefore has no last number, but if it did, it would presumably be somewhere from 0-9.

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"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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Knock, Knock! Cum inside ;;)

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What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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it depressed me to be diagnosed with depression

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Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

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Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

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melon

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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