fava beans

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin when he noticed he had lost his belt? A: Robin! Q:What did Robin respond? A: Yes?

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

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How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

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The biggest joke in anti-joke are these two MOST FAVED What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. +17662 likes MOST HATED whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven -1714 dislikes GUESS WHAT : they are both jew jokes

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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