Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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