Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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What number comes after 29? 30.

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THIS IS an anti-joke.

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

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What time is it? 20:45.

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did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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what happened to the 4 year old girl who got stuck in the freezer? She froze.

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Why did the first elephant fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? PEER PRESSURE!

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Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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Why are black people so good at sports? They practice.

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

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The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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