Knock Knock Who's there? Well why don't you open the door and find out!

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what's brown and sticky? a turd.

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person: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? person: A Hipster. Me: False.

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

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MC donald the duck loves Justin's Balls. And Daniel Ma loves fried chicken boiled with rice \Cupcake

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

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What's the difference between slavery and the Holocaust? Slavery happened.

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Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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