do want to hear a joke? Women's rights

Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

What did the brick say to the wall? Nothing, as they are both inanimate objects that lack knowledge and the sense to speak.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Q: What do you call a black guy with an air plane? A: A pilot you racist bastard!

why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a terrorist.

whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

how did they guy with no legs in the wheel chair walk? he couldnt because he had no legs.

What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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