How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What a gay guy get on his IQ test? 69

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When I get aroused I get a solid snake

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

matt f stupid because no one likes him

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There once was a man from nantucket. But he moved to California after he won the State lottery.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jamie stegman has no life he is a nerd while his sister is giving him a z-j while jacob comes in and starts rubbing the lamp and then the crazy man ate the orange then farted in all of there face. NeonFAILsky xoxo

thumb_up thumb_down +7

No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road was clear of oncoming traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Do you want to hear a joke? No. Women's- oh, okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops